I’m still having struggles with Christianity. One of the big drawbacks to me is the exclusivity. Oh, I know you’ve heard this argument before, but it’s really, um, not right. This is why, too, I think that parts of the Bible were NOT divinely inspired, but politically motivated (years later I’m sure). I mean, Christianity was often used as a tool to control the masses.
It’s often said, Well, people have a choice.
Do they? Which people? Mentally ill people – do they have a choice? 16 year olds, who don’t have full maturity or brain development? What of the entire nation of brain washed from birth people in North Korea? Where are their choices, and what is choice if you don’t have the capacity to see all the choices or understand them? Do they get a free pass to heaven, while the rest of us have wrestled day and night with every sin and temptation?
I’ve been asking God to reveal the truth to me, but a silent God is tricky to decipher. We all know what answers I will find in the Bible, so where can I get a more objective answer?
And then my brain said to me today, You’re struggling with this truth because the real truth is written on your soul, and you don’t have the courage to embrace it.
On the path we learned that once your soul learns a spiritual truth, it can’t UNlearn it. That would hardly be fair. I believe this. Ultimately, you can choose to ignore what you’ve learned, or put your fingers in your ears and pretend you didn’t hear it, but it’s still there inside you. PERMANENTLY.
But Christianity stuck its nefarious head in and said, “Well, that could be the devil.”
It’s this line that drove me away from Christianity so many years ago. When God did take me under His Glorious Wing, there was no doubt, there was none of this nonsense, but as soon as we add this exclusivity issue, doubt ensues and God’s Hand feels farther away.
And we all know who’s hand DOUBT belongs to, and what it can lead to.
So am in incorageous, or just cautious? Timid, or careful? Lukewarm IS NOT what I want to be, but I haven’t yet been swept up in that “Oh yes, this Jesus IS my savior!” passion, not at all.