Admissions
I must admit a few things. I’ve been doing some hardcore battle with depression that stepped in to my life, unwanted and unexpected, and did nothing but warrant the writing of a lukewater poem about God who feels far far away.
FAR FAR away.
Needing support and I don’t know where to find. I’m too uncomfortable talking to Christians. Well, not my old pastor but for some reason I’m too embarrassed to speak to him, and I really don’t want the “but it’s in the bible” argument, which is completely circular.
I know I need some fresh resources and faces. Time to look, but I’m not sure where. Lead me, God, you’re the only one who can rescue me.
And right now I need it.
Wish I could help. I can only say, don’t give the depression or feeling of distance from God more significance in your mind than it may really have. What I mean by that is, don’t interpret them to mean that you have done/are doing something wrong, or that there’s something wrong with you. Everyone goes through dry spells; sometimes you just have to wait them out, knowing your sense of God’s presence in your life will return. You’ve been through a LOT lately; chances are your body-brain is just insisting you take a break from all the stress.
I know the feeling of wanting to find people with whom one could share one’s own spiritual. . .what? journey/thoughts/path/seeking/questions. It’s what brought me to your blog in the first place–your combination of open seeking and belief attracted me, even though I’m not Christian. So I’m here on the sidlines rooting for you. May you find the people you need-or may they find you.