I admit it, I’ve been very hard on God the last few months. I’ve done way more than my usual share of grumbling and the money situation was down to the wire, and I told off God good.
Bad, bad idea.
Because just about right after I told the Lord off, we got a tenant in our old home (haven’t been able to sell it for a year). Next, we got a refund the dog from Chase, and not much later, got a refund from Chase on a very bad car deal. Things were going well, and a few extra jobs dropped into my lap.
Then I get a long term work opportunity, and since we are still in the hole, I jumped on it. I thought Ok, I can handle this.
But now, I’m reminded of the story in the Bible (Num 11:7-32). The Israelites were finally freed from slavery from the Egyptians, after 100s of years, and complained first about the journey, the food, how they were better off as slaves. So God sent manna – sweet, pastry-like bread. But after a long time of that, they complained AGAIN. They want meat, not stupid pastry. (Oh man, that sounds just like me.) So God gets PISSED. He says this:
Num 11:19 In fact, they will have meat day after day for a whole month–not just a few days, or even ten or twenty. They turned against me and wanted to return to Egypt. Now they will eat meat until they get sick of it.
Ouch. So I complained and complained. And now I have work on top of work (”I was looking for a job and then I found a job and heaven knows I’m miserable now”). A client I’ve been waiting on for months is ready to go, another just passed me ANOTHER project, and I answered someone’s ad a week ago. He contacted me – by then, I didn’t want anymore work, but he told me not to worry I could handle it. And someone else passed me a client – maybe.
I’m a little nervous, but ok, I get it. God provides and no matter how close it comes, I need to trust.
No one ever told me that trusting could be such hard, hard work.